Holidays are typically a time to celebrate. A time for visiting, shopping, baking, decorating, wrapping and lots to do. However, sometimes people with cancer and their loved ones feel challenges and “out-of-sync” from the rest of the world. The holiday season can prompt new questions, such as: How do I take care of the holiday rush and myself at the same time? How can I celebrate when I have so many other things on my mind? What will my life be like next year?Sharing these concerns with the people you love and who love you can help you feel more connected.
Make plans to get together with friends, family or co-workers over the holidays but find the right balance between celebrating with family and friends and spending the time you may need on your own. Give yourself permission to pace activities and to decline invitations so that you have the energy to enjoy the gatherings that are most important to you. This might mean asking friends and family to come to you, so you can save your energy and still enjoy the visit and celebration. You have been participating and giving throughout all the holidays in your life. It is ok to let others give back to you now.
Some times patients have a hard time asking for what they want and need because they feel they have to ask for help more often than ever before. But allow friends, family and co-workers the opportunity to help you even more. Your support team of friends, family and co-workers want to help you! They want to make your life enjoyable and easier because they know that are you are dealing with cancer and the challenges that come with it. Allow them to be there for you as you have been there for so many others throughout your life. It’s time to receive. You are healing and facing perhaps the biggest life-changing circumstance in your life. It is times like these that you can ask for what you need and allow others to help get your needs met.
If you are still uncomfortable with asking for fear of “putting them out,” just let them know that you are seeking possibilities and you know every one is busy and it’s ok for them to say no. They will be honest with you. And 9 times out of 10, your loved ones will, not only be able to accommodate you, they WANT to. They want to help you! They feel good to ease the challenges in the battle you are fighting. Let them help! You’ll be so glad you did. And so will they.

If you’re concerned about shopping and gift giving, perhaps you can shop online. If that is not an option, ask your loved ones to write notes to each other expressing what they are grateful for in the receiver of the note. If writing is also a challenge, you can record something, a video or audio message.

You can create new traditions. Celebrate strengths you and your loved ones have developed. Many families who face the day-to-day challenges of cancer discover strengths and courage they didn’t know they had. Reflect on the strengths you have developed, and build on them during the holidays. Spend time asking each how much you have learned while facing cancer. This can even be done over the phone.

Express your feelings in ways that help you receive the support of the important people in your life. Tears can bring a sense of relief. Laughter can be relaxing. Sharing can be comforting. It is common to experience a mixture of anticipation, excitement and apprehension about the future. Let your feelings breathe, and talk them over with a loved one, friend or professional counselor.

If you typically cook big meals for family, ask for a potluck this year. Let everyone bring something to share. And if someone is not able to bring something, allow them to give the gift of cleaning up at the end.

Enjoy special moments. Try to focus on new traditions that have been established, rather than dwelling on how cancer has changed a holiday or special occasion.

Talk to your health care team about upcoming special events. They may be flexible about appointments in order to accommodate travel or other needs.

At Mid Florida Cancer Centers our team is always ready to help you in whatever you may be facing in your battle with cancer. You are not alone. We are caring for your life.